Even though this word isn’t uttered in “Micro” this episode seems like a direct callback to “Pepperwood” when “pogo” entered the New Girl lexicon in season 2. This was the term they used to refer to Winston’s prominent boner and they revealed how everyone in the loft had an unmentionable flaw – Schmidt had horrible toe nails (or clickety-clacks), Jess is a know-it-all and Nick can’t take of himself – Cece was exempt despite all her best efforts (including a supremely disturbing baby voice). Instead of focusing inward it becomes a more general observation after Jess witnesses the guys dissecting every woman that walks past them and in a classic guys versus girls sitcom setup Jess and Nick make a bet in attempt to prove their point. Jess wants to show she’s not shallow like the guys are when it comes to looks and that she can date a dude with a micropenis for a month, something Nick doesn’t think she is capable of.
Other than the bathroom conversation in the season premiere, Nick and Jess haven’t really spent a great deal of time together this year and while it’s a touch implausible there wouldn’t be any tension or jealousy regarding sleeping with other people, I am more than happy to suspend my disbelief as they’ve managed to retain the chemistry that made them a “will they/won’t they” in the first place.
They’re not trying to make us forget they were ever a thing as there were several references to their former coupledom including Nick’s assessment that Jess has perfect breasts, but it’s her wonky right knee that’s “got some stuff” and it’s why he always let her take her pants off before sex. There’s always been a combative element between Nick and Jess as he tries to one up her know-it-all attitude with the season 1 episode “Landlord” standing out as the first time Nick tried to prove Jess could be wrong. On this occasion Nick was determined to validate his belief that acts of kindness are often motivated by something selfish/sexual and generally Nick is pointing out the worst in people.
In “Micro” Nick wants to show Jess that she isn’t exempt from reacting in a shallow way and Jess is a little too confident in her abilities that she doesn’t even consider this guy might have a terrible personality, which he does. This involves throwing around terms like “for true” and calling scotch on the rocks a ‘sco-ro.’ Jess realizes what a terrible mistake she has made even before she sees his penis that resembles a tiny pigeon egg – she thinks she could have worked with it – and her attempts to demonstrate her point go awry. Jess comes to the conclusion that everyone is flawed and her big wonky knee revealing gesture at Matt’s apartment is interrupted by his girlfriend. He’s not that bothered as she was getting a little fat and even the hot dude with the tiny dick is superficial.
So yeah we’re all flawed and we all have things we find unattractive on others and this is where the A and B plots converge as Cece and Winston have managed to convince Coach and Schmidt they can be models. In a ‘classic Cece and Winston mess around’ (and Cece’s exasperated response to this is very funny) they take Coach and Schmidt’s compliment off and turn it into a competition. In an attempt to prove who is the better model Schmidt and Coach go from compliment showering to body nitpicking; Coach has a tiny waist and Schmidt has teeny nipples (and all I can think about is that time kittens suckled from his nipples). A wonky knee, tiny body parts, a depression-era garbage man look are all things on the outside that we can be judged for and the only two people who escape the scrutiny this week are Winston and Cece. Winston doesn’t get off completely as he reveals he might have a thing for Sesame Street wonkiness adding another thing to the list of amazing and bizarre Winston Bishop ticks.
After Jess delivers her “we should support each other’s flaws” speech she rolls around in her own know-it-all pogo by exclaiming how she knew that she was better than these guys. Jess has no self-awareness at times and this scene is indicative of this; she has already conceded that she has lost the bet gifting Nick the ‘Ass Chat’ subscription and yet she can’t give up on proving her point. It’s fun watching Zooey Deschanel and Jake Johnson riffing off each other and the chemistry is still very much there; while I was very much a Nick/Jess as a couple defender this returning to ‘friends only’ direction is really working. And it’s also fine that I can get those shipper feelings when they reference their former coupledom followed by all knowing flirty smiles at each other. The group dynamic as a whole works so much better with them as friends. Plus we get to see Jess telling dudes to “Shut your gross beautiful face” and Zooey Deschanel’s delivery of this line is pretty wonderful.
Some flaws are ones we no longer have and Schmidt is still hung up on his former overweight status and this is in part why his image is so important to him. Cece and Winston’s prank backfires as they have to follow through with their promise to get him a modeling job. The portfolio photos are hilarious and while I am sad they didn’t end up using “hot guy with a kidnapped son” they do end up getting him a billboard. It’s a win that Schmidt probably needed even if Cece and Winston are out of pocket by quite a lot – not helping the college fund – and this once again shows why pranking with Winston is a terrible idea.
I also wonder if this discussion of flaws is a nod from the show to the audience as a way to say ‘yep we know last year was a mess, but we’re working on it.’
New Girl Style Watch
This week is going to involve some horn tooting as Jess is wearing a French Connection horse print dress that featured in the first ever Fantasy Costuming post, which was all about the wardrobe of one Jessica Day.
TV Ate My Wardrobe 
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