Coach is back and after a three year absence things have changed for all of the characters on New Girl. For starters they are no longer in their 20s – they very barely in their 20s when we first met them – and their priorities have changed. When you catch up with an old friend it can be easy to slip into an old routine and even though Coach only appeared in the pilot none of these scenes feel forced; this even applies to Winston who has never shared a scene with Coach.
The return of Coach gives these characters an opportunity to join him in that big house of denial. Schmidt moved out and into the apartment across the hall in the last episode, but he’s still dropping by whenever he wants to steal toothpaste and so it doesn’t feel like he has gone at all. His decision to move out was a reactionary move to all the shit that has happened and unsurprisingly he’s still not happy. Coach provides a distraction so Schmidt doesn’t have to think about that stuff, nor does Schmidt have to spend the night in his apartment alone as he can ask Coach to crash with him – maybe he will take a room here?
With Nick it isn’t that he is unhappy, quite the opposite but he’s still having manchild reactions to relationship discussions. Jess isn’t all that comfortable with Nick going to the strip club, a point that she raises in a rational and adult way. What follows is Nick and his ability to dig himself a giant hole as he claims they haven’t had the relationship status talk. This is ridiculous as it’s clear this is more than just a friends with benefits situation and Nick knows that everything that is coming out of his mouth is crazy talk – choice example “I’m just telling her what kind of cake to bake me, son” – but he can’t stop himself because Coach is there and he wants to hang out with his old friend.
Sitcoms love a good misunderstanding and situations that get out of hand fast; the guys at a strip club with Jess going out with an embittered Cece is the perfect formula for this kind of scenario. Cece is understandably cynical about relationships at the moment and she plays the role of mischief maker as she calls Artie (the ridiculously handsome Taye Diggs) to the bar to get his flirt on with Jess. As the Temple Grandin’s (a drink that makes Jess friendly and compassionate) flow and Nick doesn’t know which part of the phone is the microphone the stakes are raised, these are alcohol fueled stakes so anything could happen. Cece realizes that Jess and Nick’s situation is very different from her own and she’s been projecting her own Schmidt related anger onto Jess.
Nick’s main crime is that he couldn’t call Jess his girlfriend in front of Coach, which even by Nick standards of not being able to acknowledge feelings is high on the list of dumb things he has done. The other aspects like his inability to have a day/life plan and leaving himself “Put on pants?” notes (A+ delivery on this line from Zooey Deschanel) just add to Jess’ frustration. Jess is also playing the getting wasted on a Tuesday game (it’s ok the kids are going to watch a movie at school tomorrow) and so it’s not just the guys who are making bad life choices. The list of terrible things that Nick does quickly turns into a Nick is a really, really great kisser list (an excellent reason to link to this) and the revenge plan of really hot conversation time gets thrown out of the window.
Not so fast as Taye Diggs is naked in Jess’ bed and even throws imaginary water at her, as the only sober one in this episode that move is pretty cringe. It also leads to the best Cece delivery of the night with “Men are such dicks.” Even though they’ve been able to say dick on network TV for a couple of years now, it still surprises me when they do.
It’s already occurred to Nick by this point that he needs to go home as they’re all too old for these kinds of shenanigans. This all started because Coach wanted to celebrate being single but he’s actually miserable and brokenhearted; he’s using the strippers and guys night to fill this void. The talk of growing up comes in the middle of a very halfhearted slap fight and there’s a lot of truth spoken among all the nonsense – this being Schmidt’s very terrible interpretation of Raiders of the Lost Ark, or what he believes to be a Nazi propaganda movie – deep and meaningful drunk conversations always contain the fuzziest of logic.
The Nick/Jess relationship hasn’t taken the steps of a usual rom-com relationship even if it has followed the classic “will they/won’t they” and New Girl has been playing with this convention. The big factor here is that they already live together so having the “terminology” talk is already an odd one to broach. So when Nick casually throws in the word girlfriend it’s an organic moment, but it also really means something to Jess. Yes this is a guy who leaves himself a note questioning whether to wear pants (confession sometimes I add “shower” on my ‘to do’ list just to have something extra to tick off) but he also gives Jess the opportunity to explain why there is a naked hot guy in her bed.
Like many, Friends is the sitcom I grew up with and so I have a tendency to think of something like New Girl in relation to this show and with the “will they/won’t they” Ross and Rachel are my prime example. One of the things that made Ross and Rachel hard to root for at times was Ross’ jealousy and the whole Mark of it all; this was meant to be a sitcomy obstacle instead it made Ross insufferable. What I’m trying to say is that Nick and Jess do end up dealing with this head on and even though Nick’s right hook to Artie is pretty much fueled by jealousy, Nick and Jess are on the same side and this is what Friends lacked at times with Ross and Rachel.
Coming back to Coach and while it’s unclear whether New Girl will pull a Mindy Project and make him a regular; it feels like he is part of this friendship group even if things have changed since they last hung out. There is some banter with Winston with the not so kind nickname of “Shrimp Forks” that Winston pulls him up on later. There’s a competitive edge with all of the guys as they’re all trying to prove that they’ve still got it and Winston ends up suffering the most financially thanks to misunderstanding the rules of Bunny Money, but hey that’s enough for takeout and clothing funds at the V Rab (yeah I won’t call it that again) for a good month.
TV Ate My Wardrobe 
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